


Aft Dialed

by Slaskia



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe, Butt Dialing, Embarrassment, F/M, Implied Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Relationship Reveal, Secret Relationship, Skywarp you're not helping!, Tags Contain Spoilers, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29725704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaskia/pseuds/Slaskia
Summary: Someone sent an 'inappropriate' message to Agent Fowler and the human wants to know who did it....
Relationships: ?/?, Arcee/Starscream (Transformers), Jetfire | Skyfire/Ratchet (Transformers), Skywarp/Wheeljack (Transformers)
Kudos: 7





	Aft Dialed

**Author's Note:**

> Come up with this quick fic idea yesterday while at work...
> 
> This is 'based' on my 'Astral Aligned' continuity (namely in regards to characters and relationships)...but not connected to it.

It was a nice quiet morning for once. No Decepticon activity occurred overnight. Certain troublemakers haven’t caused any problems yet. Best of all, Ratchet felt _very_ well rested. Hard _not_ to be when he had slept in the loving arms of Jetfire. Only way it could have been _perfect_ was if he could have _stayed_ in said bondmate’s arms all day.

Alas…there was still a war going on and work to be done. So he was already in the medbay, ensuring everything was clean and orderly before continuing one of his many projects. Around the command center, the other Autobots were performing their duties, or simply taking it easy. Ratchet hoped it stayed like this all day.

Unfortunately, he wouldn’t get his wish.

//Prime!\\\ Fowler’s voice screamed from the comms console. //We need to talk!\\\

_Oh brother…_ Ratchet rolled his optics as he and the other Autobots turned their attention to the dark colored human. The man looked a mix of angry and…disturbed…if he was reading his expression correctly.

“What is it, Agent Fowler?” Optimus queried as the Prime approached. Phaseshot, who Ratchet noticed had been spending a lot more time beside the Prime as of late, was right beside him.

//I want to know which one of you did it!\\\ the human barked.

Ratchet’s first thought that someone caused a disruption in a human settled area: that always got the Agent riled up.

“Did what?” Wheeljack spoke up. “Cons have been quiet; we’ve hadn’t had reason to go out accidently blowin’ up human buildings or anythin’.”

//I bet it was you and your sneaky seeker boyfriend,\\\ Fowler was growling, his eyes narrowing pointedly at the pair. //Don’t try to play innocent!\\\

“Agent Fowler,” Optimus Prime spoke up with a clearing of his vocalizer. “It would be more appropriate if you told us what happened before you start throwing accusations at members of my Team.”

“Eh…I’m used to that…,” Skywarp remarked with a giggle, which was cut short when Starscream elbowed him.

//I _really_ didn’t want to describe it as I have spent the last hour or so trying to _erase it_ from my memory, but fine!\\\ The human leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before continuing. //Last night, _someone_ called my number…and left…ugh…what sounded like a partly muffled audio from a _porno_ film!\\\

Ratchet blinked in surprise. Around him the others had similar expressions: Optimus and Phaseshot, in particular, seemed rather shocked. Horrified even.

“Oh now that _definitely_ sounds like something we could have done!” Skywarp stated with laugh once the surprise wore off. “But it wasn’t me and Jackie.”

“Yeah, Sky and I were fraggin’ in the Jackhammer last night,” Wheeljack boosted with a broad grin. “But we know better than to frag by the comm.” There was a chuckle as the Wrecker looked up at Skywarp fondly. “We really rocked the old girl, didn’t we, cupcake?”

“Sure did!” Skywarp replied with a big smile.

//Like I need any more mental images of robots fucking each other!\\\ Fowler groaned, then added with a sigh. //I _do_ know the call came from your command center…not the Jackhammer. As much as I hate to ask…but can anyone prove their alibi?\\\

“Unfortunately, Arcee and I can,” Starscream spoke up. “We could hear them on the other side of the plateau…kind of ruined our quiet stargazing and cuddle time….”

“Damn…we were _that_ loud?” Skywarp asked.

“Yes…,” Starscream growled, glaring at them both.

“Record!” The black and purple seeker high fived Wheeljack. Starscream and Jetfire both facepalmed at that. Ratchet thought he heard a couple of bots shifting about.

//Alright…so if it wasn’t the usual suspects…who was it?\\\ Fowler demanded.

“I can assure you, Fowler, that Jetfire and I keep our business in the berthroom where it belongs,” Ratchet replied. No, neither of them had that ‘do it in random places’ kink a _certain_ pair had…..

“While Arcee and I do have our moments of _exploration_ …last night was not one of them,” Starscream commented.

So if it wasn’t Skywarp and Wheeljack…or Starscream and Arcee…who could it….

//Are you fucking kidding me!? _Prime_!?\\\ Fowler was exclaiming in shock.

Ratchet looked up at Optimus in confusion, then his intake dropped in surprise.

The Prime was standing there stiffly, his face a bright blue and expression one of mortification. Phaseshot was in a similar state, but he was now partly behind Optimus, looking like he was _seriously_ considering casting an invisibility spell.

He didn’t want to believe it…but it _did_ make sense once Ratchet took a moment to think about it. Optimus and Phaseshot spending a lot of time together…going out on patrols…having many quiet discussions…and so on. The Prime had taken night watch last night as well: it would have been the _perfect_ opportunity to sneak in some intimacy with no one watching.

Well… _almost_ perfect. Primus…to have their relationship exposed in such a way….

“I…um…..” Optimus was struggling to speak, his optics darting to each of them. All the optics being on him at that moment must have felt like a dozen Cybertrons on his shoulders. “It appears…in the heat of the moment…we…uh…lost sense of our surroundings….” He finally confessed; his optics were looking at the floor.

“We…apologize for the…discomfort we caused you…,” Phaseshot added, Optimus nodding in agreement.

//Dear Lady Liberty…It really _was_ you and Mister Prophet….and from an accidental _butt dial_!?\ Fowler still looked he was having a hard time believing it. The human’s eyes were bulging, mouth hanging open….

“Hey, Tiny…even Primes and Prophets need to get it on every once in a while, ya know?” Wheeljack stated with a smirk, Ratchet just catching what looked like a few creds being passed to Skywarp. Skywarp looked like he was trying _very_ hard not to laugh while nodding enthusiastically.

//OK! I’m done!\\\ Fowler declared, his hands snapping across in a cutting motion. //I’m gonna need a lot of time to process…no…to try to _forget_ this even _happened!_ Fowler out!\\\

The moment the call cut out, Skywarp burst out laughing, the seeker quickly keeling over onto the floor, somehow managing to spit out ‘the look on his face’ between laughs. That certainly did not help the newly outed couple cope with their embarrassment.

“So…,” Starscream was purring, looking at Arcee. “Was _this_ what you’ve been keeping from me, my dear?”

“I…don’t suppose you have a spell to help Fowler…forget this, Phase?” Arcee was asking, ignoring Starscream’s question, who just chuckled with a smirk on his face.

“Um…yes,” Phaseshot replied meekly, who was now clinging to the Prime. “But the one I am most experienced in using is only effective shortly after the event someone wants to forget has happened. Generally…it’s not recommended to use such a spell anyway, as tampering with memories can be rather problematic….”

“Oh…so he is, as Jack would say ‘shit out of luck’…,” the femme muttered.

“Please tell me you cleaned off the console after you were done…,” Jetfire was saying, eyeing said console with a hint of disgust on his face. From what Ratchet could see, either they did clean up or they somehow avoided leaving a mess….

“I used a cleaning spell after we were finished,” Phaseshot assured him, then quickly added. “No…I cannot teach it to you….”

“Damnit…,” Jetfire sighed, disappointed.

_Ah, my love…that perfect cleaning method still alludes you._ Not that he could blame him, considering the lab accident story he told him….

A deep sigh drew his attention back to Optimus, who was rubbing his face. “Phase, next time we feel so inclined…we should…,” the Prime was starting to say.

“Only in the berthroom…yes…I agree, Ops,” Phaseshot finished for him. “Away from any…communications equipment.”

Yes, good idea, a more _appropriate_ location for such activities. Ratchet supposed they were lucky it was _Fowler_ they called and not the _Nemesis_. Megatron would have had a field day….

“Hey if the berthroom gets boring for ya after a while,” Skywarp spoke up, having recovered from his laughing fit. “The storeroom is always an option! Plenty of space…lots of options for-“

“While we _appreciate_ the suggestion, Skywarp,” Optimus interrupted stiffly. “It is not needed….”

“Aww…well, if you ever _want_ suggestions, you know who to call!”

Ratchet could see them both making mental notes to _not_ do that….

“So…Prime…Phase…,” Wheeljack spoke up, bearing a type a grin that spelled ‘trouble’. “Got a burnin’ question to ask: who was bottom?”

“None of your business!” they both replied stiffly.

Really, it wasn’t. Thankfully, other than a brief pouty face, Wheeljack didn’t press.

Unfortunately, knowing those two…Optimus and Phaseshot would have to be on extra guard for a nosey, cloaking, teleporting seeker attempting to ‘watch’.

If Skywarp turned up orange…or worse, one day…Ratchet would _not_ be surprised. Perhaps, he should start a betting pool on how long it would be before that happened….

**Author's Note:**

> Possible alt-title: the sex-lives of Team Prime XD


End file.
